We welcomed our new bartender, Cocktail Onion, last session (December 2008) and she likes us enough to stay! We didn’t scare her off… well, not yet anyway!

We thought we’d write a little article about her so you could get to know her a little better. Well, in all actuality, we asked her some questions and here are her answers. Make sure to say hello to her at our next session and don’t forget to treat her well (tips, folks… I’m hinting at tips)! By the way… would you say she’s a fan of skiing? I’m not sure. What do you think? Onto the interview!

Photo © 2009 Jimmy Lee Photography

BIO:

I could start way back in the beginning when I was but a wee onion in the big martini of life. But, honestly, I wasn’t all that interesting until after high school. No one was… that is why high school reunions really are not a good idea. Unless you were a super-geek and want to show off your hot wife/husband and your million dollar e-business to all the sad sacks who are now ravaged by time and several bad marriages. Then, by all means go, and have a great time! I have BA (that would be, a certified Bad-Ass) in Mixology and Hospitality from Harvard Business. I once hurt myself standing up off of a toilet. Seriously. Just ripped the meniscuses (these are little pads of cartilage that act as “pillows”, if you will, between your bottom leg bone and our top leg bone, 2 in each knee) right in half. Both of them, in my left leg… at the same time. I ended up having to have surgery and spend every afternoon in physical therapy for the next 2 1/2 months. Now, that’s not even the best part of the story! The BEST part is, that I had started a physically demanding, 3 month contract job only 2 WEEKS prior! They could have sent me home on the spot, but they DIDN’T!!!

Q & A:

• Name: Cocktail Onion
• Age: 21…at least that’s what it says on my driver’s license
• How long have you lived in Philly: about 5 years. Maybe less… I can’t remember…
• Favorite drink: City-wide Special! (for those of you that don’t know, it’s typically a Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of Jim Beam). But, I like to take it up a few notches… so far, my favorite is a Long Trail with a side of Maker’s Mark.
• Favorite bars: Johnny Brenda’s/ Standard Tap, (they are the same bar and we all know it!) Atlantis, Grace Tavern, my friend’s bar in their warehouse (complete with home-brewed beer and wine!) Bob and Barbara’s, and Memphis Taproom.
• Worst Drunken Mistake: I once decided it would be a good idea to ride my bike all the way from Queen Village to Fishtown after a night of drinking.  Let me tell you something… under those streetlights, it looks like there is NEVER a curb to the sidewalks.  A black eye and a scar over my eyebrow were my rewards.
• Favorite thing about working with Dr. Sketchy’s Philly: I’ve traveled all over the world and drank A LOT of alcohol, so I’m very excited about pouring only the best for Philly’s Art-Monkeys and Voyeurs alike! Be sure to ask me for suggestions, I love to share my knowledge!
• Least favorite artist. Why?: My least favorite artist is someone, usually a woman, who splashes menstrual blood and possibly used female products on a piece of canvas and calls it “art.”  I don’t want to see my own, honey… I certainly don’t want to see yours. Okay, I just creeped myself out. I must take a shower now.  …Unclean… unclean!!!
• Pet peeve: Oh, I hate it when my socks fall into my shoes… drives me crazy! I also (at the risk of sounding like a vapid Playboy pinup) hate rude and disrespectful people. And ignorance. Actually, ignorance is fine, as long as you don’t try to push your uneducated point of view onto someone else. People that stroll down the MIDDLE of the aisle in the grocery store, chatting away on their cell phone… hell, I hate people DRIVING with their cell phones attached to their ears and cutting me off for no reason. Speaking of, that Bluetooth headset you are CONSTANTLY wearing? It doesn’t make you look important, it makes you look like a loser waiting for your one friend to call. I dislike people who tell me I HAVE to vote or that I MUST save the African children. I’m a grammar nerd, so I just look at them and say, “Actually, I don’t HAVE to… I COULD, maybe even SHOULD… but now, I’m not going to. “

Favorites:

• Color: Black, because it matches my dark, dark soul. Also, no one can see me coming at night. I’m kidding! It’s just the sneaking up on people bit. I actually have a light, airy soul.
• Food: I love, love, LOVE macaroni and cheese!
• ice cream:… I don’t really eat ice cream actually. Or chocolate. I know, I know. Put down the flaming torches and pitchforks!
• Book: Anything by Haruki Murakmai. If you don’t know who that is… you must go look him up and read.
• Movie: This is a hard one… I haven’t REALLY liked a new movie in quite some time. I’m going to go with Shaun of the Dead. Zombie movies THAT FOLLOW THE RULES are awesome!
• Any other favorites? I love it when my puppy curls up in my knee crook and when she makes her happy whiny noises when I come home. I love to hear someone say “I love you.” I think opening the door for the person behind you, or at least holding it for them is one of the simplest, nicest things you can do for your fellow human beings. I like good food paired with good wine or beer.

Update: (2/5/09) Heather Henderson of The BigHcast recently interviewed Cocktail Onion as well! Listen to the podcast by clicking HERE. Cocktail talks about her passion with theatre, her current job situation, Dr. Sketchy’s, friends she’s met along the way and more!